1. A day without sunshine is like night.
2. On the other hand, you have different fingers.
3. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
4. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
5. Remember, half the people you know are below average.
6. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
7. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
8. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese in the trap.
9. Support bacteria. They’re the only culture some people have.
10. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
11. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.
12. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments. ( Ha Ha Ha)
13. How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? Raise my hand.
14. OK, so what’s the speed of dark?
15. When everything is coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.
16. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
17. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?
18. Eagles may soar, but weasels don’t get sucked into jet engines
19. What happens if you get scared half to death, twice?
20. Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
21. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering, “What the hell happened?”
22. Just remember — if the world didn’t suck, we would all fall off.
23. Light travels faster than sound. That’s why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
24. Life isn’t like a box of chocolates. It’s more like a jar of jalapenos.
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October 7th, 2007 at 4:36 pm
LOL, long time since i have seen such a compilation of hilarious but true phrases
Gili
October 9th, 2007 at 9:11 pm
Number 23 refers to a lot of men I know
…. not you of course 
October 9th, 2007 at 9:16 pm
hmmmm I’m guessing if I give you a look that says, “raise your hand or I’ll pull your thumb backwards” u’ll raise you hand and voila …… Psycho -kinesis
October 9th, 2007 at 9:25 pm
Number 5 ….. bang on target when it comes to you
October 9th, 2007 at 9:27 pm
statistics made up on the spot ….. my gosh you management guys are excellent at that!