• Forwards,  Fun Stuff,  Jokes

    If they had a cow…

    INFOSYSism You have a 1000 poor cows. You put them on a nice campus, & send them one at a time to the US for milking. WIPROism GE has a cow. You take 49% of the milk. SATYAMism You have a cow. You have its milk. But don’t know what to do with it! DELLism Intel has a Goat.. Samsung has a Camel. Buy milk from both & sell it as Cow’s milk. IBMism You have old stubborn cows. You sell them as pet dogs to innocent small businessmen. MICROSOFTism You have a cow. Force the world to buy milk from you. Spend a million dollars to feed poorer cows.…

  • Forwards,  Fun Stuff,  Jokes

    For my Goan friends…

    Our friend from Moira, Juze Bostiaum, appeared on Kaun Banega Crorepati, the famous ‘Amitabh Bachchan’ hosted show. Juze had miraculously reached the end of the rounds by saying all his Rosaries & Novenas & had already won Rs. 50 lacs. “You’ve done very well so far,” said Amitabh, “but for Rs. 1 crore, you’ve only got one lifeline left – Phone a Friend. Everything’s riding on this question… will you go for it ?” “Sure,” said Juze. “Aum ek last chance, marta!” “OK ….. The QUESTION is ….. Which of the following birds does NOT build its own nest ? a) Robin,(b) Sparrow,(c) Cuckoo, or(d) Crow”? “Heje maayinchem caazar ……

  • Forwards,  Fun Stuff,  Jokes

    Cool “Out of Office” replies

    I haven’t tried any of these when I went on leave. Chances are I won’t be. 1: I am currently out at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position . 2: I?m not really out of the office. I?m just ignoring you. 3: You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn?t have received anything at all. 4: Sorry to have missed you but I am at the doctors having my brain removed so that I may be promoted to management 5: I will be unable to delete all the…

  • Forwards,  Fun Stuff,  Jokes,  Religion

    Who is Jesus?

    My good friend Sparx has maintained a steady stream of good emails. Here’s the latest one: There were 3 good arguments that Jesus was Black: 1. He called everyone brother 2. He liked Gospel 3. He didn’t get a fair trial But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Jewish: 1. He went into His Father’s business 2. He lived at home until he was 33 3. He was sure his Mother was a virgin and his Mother Was sure He was God’s gift. But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Italian: 1. He talked with His hands 2. He had wine with…

  • Forwards,  Fun Stuff,  Jokes

    The Rules of Cricket

    You have two sides, one out in the field and one in. Each man that?s in the side that?s in goes out, and when he?s out he comes in and the next man goes in until he?s out. When they are all out, the side that?s out comes in and the side that’s been in goes out and tries to get those coming in, out. Sometimes you get men still in and not out. When a man goes out to go in, the men who are out try to get him out, and when he is out he goes in and the next man in goes out and goes in.…

  • Forwards,  Fun Stuff,  Jokes,  Quotes

    She was so blonde…

    No offence to anyone, but this is so funny! She was Soooooooo Blonde * She thought a quarterback was a refund. * She thought General Motors was in the army. * She thought Meow Mix was a CD for cats. * She thought Boyz II Men was a day care center. * At the bottom of an application where it says “Sign here:” she wrote “Sagittarius.” She Was Soooooooooooooo Blonde… * She took the ruler to bed to see how long she slept. * She sent a fax with a stamp on it. * Under “education” on her job application, she put “Hooked On Phonics.” She was Sooooooooooooooooo Blonde… *…

  • Forwards,  Fun Stuff,  Jokes,  Quotes

    Dilbert One Liners – Quotes that make you go hmmm…

    They may not even be from Dilbert, but these are one liners that sure set those rusted wheels up there in motion! 1. I say no to alcohol, it just doesn’t listen. 2. A friend in need is a pest indeed. 3. Marriage is one of the chief causes of divorce. 4. Work is fine if it doesn’t take too much of your time. 5. When everything comes in your way you’re in the wrong

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