I haven’t tried any of these when I went on leave. Chances are I won’t be.
1: I am currently out at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position .
2: I?m not really out of the office. I?m just ignoring you.
3: You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn?t have received anything at all.
4: Sorry to have missed you but I am at the doctors having my brain removed so that I may be promoted to management
5: I will be unable to delete all the unread, worthless emails you send me until I return from vacation on 4/18. Please be patient and your mail will be deleted in the order it was received.
6: Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been charged $5.99 for the first ten words and $1.99 for each additional word in your message.
7: The e-mail server is unable to verify your server connection and is unable to deliver this message. Please restart your computer and try sending again.?
( The beauty of this is that when you return, you can see how many in-duh-viduals did this over and over).
8: Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system. You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks.
9: Hi. I?m thinking about what you?ve just sent me. Please wait by your PC for my response.
10: Hi! I?m busy negotiating the salary for my new job. Don?t bother to leave me any messages.
11: I?ve run away to join a different circus.