You are a Mangy if…..
1. You desperately try to pass off as a Goan unless you are in the majority.
2. Sunday morning breakfast has to be “neer dosa”
3. Konkani is never spoken, always sung.
4. You’re always looking to marry a Goan or an East Indian.
5. Every other Mangy is a far off relation.
6. You’re falling over each other to get sausages from Goa.
7. Your passion is money and you know nothing about football, hockey or cricket.
8. Your favorite holiday destination is Goa.
9. You buy the smallest shrimps in the market, cook it with okra, and call it a delicacy.
10. Goans send their sausages and feni all over the world, you only send your “tiles” to Goa.
11. Your brother-in-law is called “Bhoji”
12. A festival is incomplete without “sannas”
13. You wear high-heels to a dance and then go bare foot on to the dance floor because it is more comfortable.
14. Every sentence must start with a “kaale gi” and end with a “oui gi”
15. You must speak English in public, even if it is 14 carat.
16. You invite family to visit you in Canada and give them long lists of things you need from India and the list goes on and on……
You Know You are an East Indian (EI) when …..
1. Anywhere you go surnames like Fernandez, Pereira, D’monte, Gomes, Correa, Creado, Almeida, D’Lima surface
2. You have Lonvas curry at least once a week. Bottle masala is used in atleast two dishes a week and of course your family has the best BM recipe.
3. You always serve salt tounge with mashed potatoes and peas at a party. Oh and the bloaters!! The only liquerus you tasted before you left India was “Kimad”. And must not share your recipies with anyone.
4. Every second sentence is interjected with “my gosh we certainly don’t do that ”
5. Your Grandfather owned half of Bandra at some stage and wore a purple sash at funerals
6. Your mum is a member of the ladies sodality and has a favorite padri
7. No one makes better milk cream or marzipan than your mum.
8. East Indian Sorpotel is superior to Goan Sorpotel.
9. An occasion is incomplete without “Phoogyas”.
10. Your aunts start knitting in summer for the Andrean fair in Winter (which is also 30 C)
11. You wonder why others don’t say dis for this and dat for that!!
12. As a kid you were forcibly taken to the Bandra gym for Xmas parties
13. You have pachunda and guzz and fukni as an antique in your living room!!!!!
PS: Your Goan friends love to hang out around you !!!
YOU KNOW YOU ARE A GOAN WHEN ………..
1. No matter where you go in the world you will find another goan named D’Costa, D’Mello, D’Souza, Fernandes, Monteiro or Rodrigues.
2. You have six middle names, most of which you can’t pronounce.
3. You have annoying nicknames like Petus, Babush (or Busha), Bostiao, Forsulo or Popot!
4. You are really confused if you are Portuguese….. heaven forbid Indian!
5. You call everybody who is brown and not goan “bintkar” and make fun of them in konkani.
6. You interject “what”, “man”, and “re”(ray) in every line of your conversation
7. You show you are listening to the conversation by saying “really?!” or “what youre saying”
8. You call an older person you’ve never met before “uncle” or “auntie” everyone is a family friend
9. One club is not enough to cater to 10 goans
10. Your family is fighting over property they inherited from someone else. Your mother has a minor disagreement with her sister and doesn’t talk with her for 10 years
11. You think you can sing
12. You make tea in a saucepan
13. You eat onions with everything
14. You get excited when “king fish” is mentioned
15. You eat last night’s curry the next morning
16. You call mangoes by Portuguese names
17. You see pictures of the Caribbean and you say “it’s just like Goa”
18. You get very upset when the airlines refuse to accept your luggage which is
40 lbs overweight.
19. You go back to Goa and people treat you like a member of the royal family
20. You are comfortable going back for a holiday in May just to sample the mangoes, jackfruits, cantons, bibes, and the miscut.
21. You wash your butt quickly when you hear the pig grunting.