The Height of Spam and Scams!

Got an email titled “Urgent Assistance”. I usually delete such emails immediately and report them as spam, and so I did just that.

Contents of the email are the usual. This is not original text, but just the gyst.

Dear Friend

It is a pleasure to contact you at this important time for a possible business transaction. However, I got your information in a business directory from the Ivoirean Chamber of Commerce Industries when I was searching for a reliable,honest and trustworthy person to entrust this business with and your profile got me convinced of your wide experience in business. I am mr chisom Savimbi,a family brother to the late General Jonas Savimbi,leader of the Angolan unita rebel who was shot dead on tuesday 26th febuary 2002 by the opposing forces of Angolan army.

Well, the only part true in this entire para was the part of Jonas Savimbi. ‘Ivoirean Chamber of Commerce Industries ‘; what the hell is that? and where did they find my information from? Am I so famous. And I just learnt that I have a ‘wide experience in business’, when I have never been in any business!

Well, I would normally, have just not bothered to look further, but for something very surprising that happened. Our dear friend [email protected] from who I got this email contacted me on Yahoo! messenger:O (had got the email there).

Let me continue the email…

For the past years now our country have been in political crisis and conflits betwwen the unita rebel and goverment allied forces. As a matter of fact,before the death of General Jonas Savimbi,l was given US$15.8million dollars,45,550carat Diamond and 5400ounce Gold for the purchasing of Fire Arms and Armunations from Russia and a mini Lafeyette Frigate from Ukrain. I considered it a great opportunity as he is now late consphicated the Package and diverted it to ABIDJAN COTE DIVOIRE, in west African Nation the where it has been deposited in a Security Company on a special arrangement as a Treasure.

Wow:O Amazing amount of money haan, but the important question, “Why me?”. Well the mail continued asking my assistance to “transfer” this so called money.

Anyway, I decided to continue the conversation below. Turned out to be a very persistant guy indeed. (Oh did I forget to tell you, he claimed to be Mr.chisom Savimbi.

Well, here is the entire chat conversation:

chorppy20032002 (9:20:20 PM): hello
cyberchamp000 (9:20:50 PM): asl
chorppy20032002 (9:21:20 PM): did receive my email?
cyberchamp000 (9:21:27 PM): who r u
chorppy20032002 (9:21:52 PM): check your email and get back to me
cyberchamp000 (9:21:59 PM): urgent assistance?
chorppy20032002 (9:22:27 PM): yes
cyberchamp000 (9:22:39 PM): i reported as spam
chorppy20032002 (9:23:05 PM): this is not spam ok
cyberchamp000 (9:23:26 PM): do i know u
cyberchamp000 (9:23:41 PM): u will have to send it again
cyberchamp000 (9:24:04 PM): any email with Urgent Assistance is usuall y spam
chorppy20032002 (9:24:34 PM): this is not spam or whatever you call it
cyberchamp000 (9:24:45 PM): well send it again
cyberchamp000 (9:24:48 PM): it got deleted
chorppy20032002 (9:25:22 PM): you men you did not receive it?
cyberchamp000 (9:25:36 PM): i mean i received it, reported as spam, and it gotdeleted
chorppy20032002 (9:25:55 PM): why?
chorppy20032002 (9:26:11 PM): Are not interessted?
cyberchamp000 (9:26:15 PM): copz it was titled urgent assistance and i dont know u
cyberchamp000 (9:26:22 PM): intested in wat?
cyberchamp000 (9:26:27 PM): i dint read ur mail!
chorppy20032002 (9:26:54 PM): i will send to you again ok
cyberchamp000 (9:26:57 PM): ok
chorppy20032002 (9:27:33 PM): so where are you from?
cyberchamp000 (9:27:44 PM): u frst
chorppy20032002 (9:27:57 PM): abidjan
cyberchamp000 (9:28:07 PM): where is that?
chorppy20032002 (9:28:24 PM): in african
cyberchamp000 (9:28:27 PM): is this some crapy deal of some millionare dying and u wanting to transfer teh funds or something?
chorppy20032002 (9:28:57 PM): yes

I gave a good guess and he just admitted it is a crappy deal
Continued…

cyberchamp000 (9:29:11 PM): tell me more…
chorppy20032002 (9:29:24 PM): to transfer the fund into your bank account in your country
cyberchamp000 (9:29:37 PM): and why would i want to do that?
chorppy20032002 (9:30:03 PM): just chek your email again
cyberchamp000 (9:32:12 PM): and what do i gain by your said transaction?
chorppy20032002 (9:32:44 PM): have you read the message?
cyberchamp000 (9:32:44 PM): ur chisom savimbi?
chorppy20032002 (9:33:14 PM): yes
cyberchamp000 (9:33:35 PM): and ur his bro?
chorppy20032002 (9:34:04 PM): yes
chorppy20032002 (9:34:11 PM): can you handle the transaction for me?
cyberchamp000 (9:34:22 PM): but Jonas never had a brother
cyberchamp000 (9:34:33 PM): he was the only Son
cyberchamp000 (9:34:41 PM): and had no known close relatives
chorppy20032002 (9:34:58 PM): That is not true
cyberchamp000 (9:35:11 PM): well, premier reports all over say it,
cyberchamp000 (9:35:22 PM): i also found a report of a chain mail going around the internet
cyberchamp000 (9:35:44 PM): which claims that Jonas left a fortune, when infact he died a poor man, may his soul rest in peace
chorppy20032002 (9:36:05 PM): yes
chorppy20032002 (9:36:20 PM): but do you mean that i don’t know my brother again?
cyberchamp000 (9:36:34 PM): well the reports could have lied
cyberchamp000 (9:36:37 PM): where did u find me?
chorppy20032002 (9:37:24 PM): this is not lied ok
cyberchamp000 (9:37:38 PM): so the reports lied right?
chorppy20032002 (9:38:02 PM): this is the truth ok

Played a guess, but this guy sure was persistent. He never said the reports were false however:O

chorppy20032002 (9:38:19 PM): I will like to know where you from
chorppy20032002 (9:38:32 PM): I mean your country
cyberchamp000 (9:38:46 PM): why?
cyberchamp000 (9:38:53 PM): how do i know you are not lying?
cyberchamp000 (9:39:03 PM): and how do I know what you are doign is not “illegal”
chorppy20032002 (9:39:59 PM): when i give you the bank contact you will contact and veryfy from them
cyberchamp000 (9:40:09 PM): but didnt u get my info from Ivoirean Chamber of Commerce Industries
chorppy20032002 (9:40:37 PM): they only give me your email address
cyberchamp000 (9:41:18 PM): who are they?
cyberchamp000 (9:41:33 PM): coz i dont rem giving my email addresss to “Ivoirean Chamber of Commerce Industries “, whosoever they may be
chorppy20032002 (9:42:29 PM): you know that the Ivoirean Chamber of Commerce have all the contact of the forign poeple
cyberchamp000 (9:43:06 PM): so ur telling me that they got contacts of 7 billion ppl?
cyberchamp000 (9:43:17 PM): i’m sure the CIA would love that information
cyberchamp000 (9:43:31 PM): so why did you choose to mail “me”
chorppy20032002 (9:43:44 PM): yes of course
chorppy20032002 (9:44:18 PM): because i know that will handle the transaction with me very well
cyberchamp000 (9:45:31 PM): but u dont know me
chorppy20032002 (9:45:50 PM): yes
chorppy20032002 (9:46:14 PM): i don’t know you really but i wan’t to do the business with you
cyberchamp000 (9:46:47 PM): if you dont know me how will you know I can handle the transaction well?
chorppy20032002 (9:48:10 PM): I have fast pray ask God to get someone who will assist me and who will not cheat me in this transaction
cyberchamp000 (9:48:25 PM): so God pointed you to me?

Man, seriously, give me a break. I don’t think I am so dumb as to believe this:!

cyberchamp000 (9:48:42 PM): but I am only 13
chorppy20032002 (9:48:47 PM): yes of course
chorppy20032002 (9:49:16 PM): your age did not matter anything
cyberchamp000 (9:50:05 PM): i dont have a bank account, and it is illegal to have bank account here in Argoria unless your 18

I actually made up Argoria. But, I guess it exists or something…

chorppy20032002 (9:50:38 PM): what about your dad?
chorppy20032002 (9:50:47 PM): or your mother
cyberchamp000 (9:51:52 PM): they will kill me if they find out I chat with unknown persons or brothers of rebels!

Well, not really 😉

cyberchamp000 (9:52:04 PM): sorry dude, i hope you find someone else.
cyberchamp000 (9:52:18 PM): all the best, in your search, but I must tell you, good scam
cyberchamp000 (9:52:19 PM): bye
chorppy20032002 (9:52:20 PM): ok
chorppy20032002 (9:52:31 PM): you have try thanks for that
cyberchamp000 (9:52:46 PM): oh your welcome

Got rather bored of it in the end. So shut off the chat convo.

Just for the record, I’m 22 as of this date from India and I do have a bank account. But I WOULD NEVER EVER DO SOMETHING ILLEGAL. And if it’s scams, then I guess I can give my mom’s favorite statement I was not born yesterday

A friend asked me later why I chose to chat with him. My simple answer. “What a great blog post it would make” 😉

Ohh…. and btw, I reported the two more emails he sent me as spam 😀

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3 thoughts on “The Height of Spam and Scams!”

  1. I’ve got 2 things to say to you:
    (01) You’re seriously BEKAAR to talk to guys like this. Too much time on your hands…
    (02) You’re seriously NUTS to talk to guys like this. Too little in your head…

    Oh, what the heck… it made for a great laugh. You are totally insane, you know that right?

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