State-of-the- art: Any computer you can’t afford.
Obsolete: Any computer you own.
Microsecond: The time it takes for your state-of-the- art computer to become obsolete.
G3: Apple’s new Macs that make you say, “Gee, it’s three times faster than the computer I bought for the same price a microsecond ago.”
Syntax Error: Walking into a computer store and saying, “Hi, I want to buy a computer and money is no object.”
Hard Drive: The sales technique employed by computer salesmen, especially after a Syntax Error.
GUI (pronounced “gooey”): What your computer becomes after spilling your coke on it.
Keyboard: The standard way to generate computer errors.
Mouse: An advanced input device to make computer errors easier to generate.
Floppy: The state of your wallet after purchasing a computer.
Portable Computer: A device invented to force businessmen to work at home, on vacation, and on business trips.
Disk Crash: A typical computer response to any critical deadline.
System Update: A quick method of trashing ALL of your software.