• Forwards,  Fun Stuff,  Jokes

    Watt Knott – A conversation in confusion

    Came across this joke in my inbox that I had forwarded by self back in 2004. Couldn’t help posting it. Read on and enjoy! Enjoy this terrific confusing conversation of William Knott and Mr Watt. “Who’s calling?” was the answer to the telephone. “Watt.” “What is your name, please?” “Watt’s my name.” “That’s what I asked you. What’s your name?” “That’s what I told you. Watt’s my name.” A long pause, and then from Watt, “Is this James Brown?” “No, this is Knott.” “Please tell me your name.” “Will Knott.” YOU LEFT THE TALKERS AT A POINT WHERE THEY WERE TOTALLY CONFUSED,READ THE REST OF WHAT HAPPENED… “Why not?” “Huh? What…

  • Alien cross the road
    Forwards,  Fun Stuff,  Jokes

    Effective Signboards

    Farmer John lived on a quiet rural highway. But, as time went by, the traffic slowly built up at an alarming rate. The traffic was so heavy and so fast that his chickens were being run over at a rate of three to six a day. So one day Farmer John called the sheriff’s office and said, “You’ve got to do something about all of these people driving so fast and killing all of my chickens.” “What do you want me to do?” asked the sheriff. “I don’t care, just do something about those crazy drivers!” So the next day he had the county workers go out and erected a…

  • Confucius
    Jokes,  Quotes

    Confucius says… and other jokes

    Confucius says War do not determine who right; war determine who left If you want pretty nurse, you got to be patient Man who keep feet on ground have trouble putting on pants He who run in front of car get tired; He who run behind get exhausted Don’t run after man who steal garden gate; He might take a fence Best time to go to dentist is tooth hurty Man who put pea in soup very unclean And some other jokes BOY : May I hold your hand? GIRL : No thanks, it isn’t heavy. ===== GIRL : Say you love me! Say you love me! BOY : You love me……

  • Sainsbury's supermarket, Greenwich
    Fun Stuff,  Jokes

    The Letter from Sainsbury’s

    After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Sainsbury’s. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women – she loves to browse. Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local Sainsbury’s… Dear Mrs. D’Souza, Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behaviour and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against your husband, Mr. D’Souza, are listed below and are “documented by our video surveillance cameras”: 1.…

  • You know its 2012 when...
    Forwards,  Jokes

    You know you are living in 2012 when…

    1. You accidentally enter your PIN on the microwave. 2. You haven’t played solitaire with real cards in years. 3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of three. 4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you. 5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that they don’t have e-mail addresses (or Facebook account). 6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home to help you carry in the groceries… 7. Every commercial on television has a web site at the bottom of the screen…

  • 26 things you probably didn't know you didn't know!
    Forwards,  Jokes

    26 things you probably didn’t know you didn’t know!

    Men can read smaller print than women can; women can hear better. Coca-Cola was originally green. It is impossible to lick your elbow. The State with the Highest percentage of people who walk to work: Alaska The percentage of Africa that is wilderness: 28% The percentage of North America that is wilderness: 38% The cost of raising a medium-size dog to the age of eleven: $ 16,400 The average number Of people airborne over the U. S. In any given hour: 61,000 Intelligent people Have more zinc and copper in their hair.. The first novel ever Written on a typewriter, Tom Sawyer. The San Francisco Cable cars are the only…

  • banking-crisis
    Forwards,  Fun Stuff,  Jokes

    The banking crisis explained…

    Young Paddy bought a donkey from a farmer for £100. The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the next day. The next day he drove up and said, ‘Sorry son, but I have some bad news. The donkey’s died.’ Paddy replied, ‘Well then just give me my money back.’ The farmer said, ‘Can’t do that. I’ve already spent it.’ Paddy said, ‘OK, then, just bring me the dead donkey.’ The farmer asked, ‘What are you going to do with him?’ Paddy said, ‘I’m going to raffle him off.’ The farmer said, ‘You can’t raffle a dead donkey!’ Paddy said, ‘Sure I can. Watch me. I just won’t tell anybody he’s…

  • Chhatrapati Shivaji Terminus (Victoria Terminus)
    Forwards,  Fun Stuff,  Jokes

    20 points about Mumbai

    Bombay has no bombs and is a harbour not a bay. Churchgate has neither a church nor a gate. It is a railway station. There is no darkness in Andheri. Lalbaag is neither red nor a garden. No king ever stayed at Kings Circle .. Nor did Queen Victoria stay at Victoria Terminus.. Photo by Joe Ravi under CC-BY-SA 3.0 license Nor is there any princess at Princess Street .. Lower Parel is at the same level as Parel There are no marines or sailors at Marine Lines. The Mahalaxmi temple is at Haji Ali not at Mahalaxmi. There are no pigs traded at Dukar bazaar. Teen bati is a…

  • What happened to the dinosaurs...
    Forwards,  Jokes

    What happened to the dinosaurs….

    Text: “So all the evidence massively supports a theory of evolution that knits together everything we know about biology. However, as high school science students in the State of Louisiana, you are entitled to learn an alternative theory supported by no scientific evidence whatsoever! It goes like this. 5,700 years ago, a male deity created the heavens and earth and all life on it in six days… Unfortunately, he didn’t like his own handwork, so god created genocide and drowned everyoen on earth except the family of Noah, a 600-year-old man who was charged with saving animals…” A student interrupts Mr. Stiller, asking him to stop. Siller concludes… “Almost done,…

  • Forwards,  Jokes

    How to score a perfect 100% on your exam

    Q1. In which battle did Napoleon die? * his last battle Q2. Where was the Declaration of Independence signed? * at the bottom of the  page Q3. River Ravi flows in which state? * liquid Q4. What is the main reason for divorce? * marriage Q5. What is the main reason for failure? * exams Q6. What can you never eat for breakfast? * Lunch & dinner Q7. What looks like half an apple? * The other half Q8. If you throw a blue stone into the red sea what it will become? * It will simply become wet Q9. How can a man go eight days without sleeping ?…

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