Jokes

How to break bad news !

The husband’s on a week long business trip and gets a call from his wife: W: “Hello, sweetheart!”H: “Ah yes, darling, I’m busy. Is there a problem?”W: “Um, I  just called to tell you that the parrot died”H: “My parrot? Dead? The one that won the competition?”W: “That’s the one.”H: “Damn ! That’s a pity! …

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22 Points to Ponder

[1] Regular naps prevent old age, especially if you take them while driving. [2] Having one child makes you a parent; having two you are a referee. [3] Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband! [4] I believe we should all pay our tax with …

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Catholic Code Words

AMEN: The only part of a prayer that everyone knows. BULLETIN: Your receipt for attending Mass. CHOIR: A group of people whose singing allows the rest of the Parish to lip-sync. HOLY WATER: A liquid whose chemical formula is H2OLY. HYMN: A song of praise usually sung in a key three octaves higher than that …

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24 Church Bulletin Board Bloopers!

Announcements in church are a part and parcel of the church experience. Not to mention people clamouring outside the church bulletin board to read the too long ones. But, when you have bloopers like these… The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals. The sermon this morning: ‘Jesus Walks on the Water.’ The sermon tonight: ‘Searching …

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For my Goan friends…

Our friend from Moira, Juze Bostiaum, appeared on Kaun Banega Crorepati, the famous ‘Amitabh Bachchan’ hosted show. Juze had miraculously reached the end of the rounds by saying all his Rosaries & Novenas & had already won Rs. 50 lacs. “You’ve done very well so far,” said Amitabh, “but for Rs. 1 crore, you’ve only …

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The Flat Tire

One truck driver was doing his usual delivery to IMH (Institute of Mental Health) He discovered a flat tyre when he was about to go home. He jacked up the truck and took the flat tyre down. When he was about to fix the spare tyre, he accidentally dropped all the bolts into the drain. …

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Personal Computer

Computer Terms

State-of-the- art: Any computer you can’t afford. Obsolete: Any computer you own. Microsecond: The time it takes for your state-of-the- art computer to become obsolete. G3: Apple’s new Macs that make you say, “Gee, it’s three times faster than the computer I bought for the same price a microsecond ago.” Syntax Error: Walking into a …

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